holy shit batman......*dies*

DAMN IT HEATH!!!!!!!!! RAWRRRRRRRR

I'm in love with the joker now. ahhhh

yea thats right. I went to a midnite showing after opening nite of All Shook Up. and I have two shows today.....and yes i had caffeine this morning....and i will take a nap between shows

BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT

I NEED A NEW ANIME TO WATCH!!!!!! PEOPLE GIVE ME RECCOMENDATIONS NOWWWWWWWWWWW

can even be shojo but not typical shojo please <.< >.>

fantasy related is always a plus

and a one seasoner as well


in other news.........I'm REALLY starting to like Kingdom Hearts II..............weeeeeeeeeeeee

meep! My summer officially begins tomorrow....going to Brunswick to begin summerstock....3 months of goddess knows how much singing and dancing. What I'm merely hoping for at this point are two things: I bond with the fellow interns (I find that it somewhat bizzare that during a school year this is incredibly hard, but during the summer from past experiences it hasn't been......*shrugs*) and PROVE to those ppl that I'm just as good. I say this because when I was trying to decide between Williamstown and Mainestate and I was talking to the Mainestate guy on the phone he was like "Well Charlotte, I'll be perfectly honest with you. Out of all the interns accepted you are the most behind. They are all more advanced dancers and singers. I'm not saying that to scare you I'm just laying down the fact."

....yea well, you only know so much from my audition where the dance moves were so basic they were hard. RAWR.

But yea I'm actually starting to get mad excited now <.< >.>

The Day 2 thing refers to a "new lifestyle" of eating I am partaking of for 28 days. No more legit breakfasts for charlotte! Oh no, even better. A SHAKE THAT TASTES LIKE POWDER AND SOME FLAVOR I DONT KNOW. And pills -_-' gah. Oh and no more starbucks *cries* unless its pure tea.

I spent the day with jon yesterday. It was lovely :). Last time I see him for a long time....he might come visit me in maine I really hope he does. If not...I won't see him till september or October. GAH.

Alright laundry look out

I realized something today.

I used to write in a diary like EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME. 6th grade-11th grade nonstop. Then i gradually stopped. I wrote for a bit this year then stopped in february.

I tried writing in it today, about thought i was feeling about lots of things...the future, the present, the past, the two sides of myself, others, my wannabe career, the world, traveling, my magick, boys, friends, etc. I got about two pages in, then stopped.

I'm afraid of my thoughts.

It's not that I'm afraid of talking to anyone in terms of content. There's really nothing shameful or bad or horrible or anything negative. It's all quite neutral subject matter really. It's just that all my thoughts are questions or confusion related and thinking/writing/talking about them just gets me so muddled and i dont kno what to do with myself and it does more harm than good. I live in the present. I tend not to think about the future cuz it wont do too much good it'll only make me anxious. But damnit, if im alone with nothing to do for an extended amount of time I start to think WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much. It's actually mentally painful.

distractions are very good.....

I actually really like LA.........no not because of movie starness or all that shit everyone thinks of when they think of LA.

I like the city itself....or at least the parts I saw. Melrose is like, St. marks times 50, the residental neighborhoods have interesting stores too (i was there with a friend from MI yesterday so we were hanging out around his place), there are like 10000000 goth clubs, the people are most intriguing, and I MET THE LEAD SINGER OF A METAL BAND WHO ARE GONNA MAKE IT BIG AND HE'S REALLY NICE AND SO IS THE BASSIST AND WE HUNG OUT WITH THEM AND AHHHHH I KNOW PROFFESSIONAL MUSICIANS NOW JGNJRTHBJRKHBJHSRHBJKS

They're gonna sign on roadrunner records really soon, and they're really serious about their work and dud they're fucking GOOD. Called Redeemer. Look up their myspace if you want GOOD metal. They're the ones from LA (cuz there are like 3 that pop up). No Emily they're not death metal but not nu metal so give them a chance anyway XP

Today is see cousins who are all mad older than me day. And then the jerry herman thing. Woo. I wanna stay in LA longer Costa Mesa is meh!!!!!!!! >.<

Only thing is I wish i could dance here and see jon :/

if you would rather not hear me complain about my weight then please ignore this because I don't want to cuz anyone insecurities I just need to type it out......

I feel skinnier than I have in a long time....pretty much all of my stomach is gone, and I don't have much fat on my body anymore. I feel pretty healthy, I've been eating a normal amount, no bread, sweets occasionally, etc. Nothing too drastic. I haven't been on the scale in over a year and last year I weighed 156 and looked kinda fat and felt gross. I feel so much better this year and definitely may be 10-15 pounds lighter. So today, I took a deep breathe and got on the scale to see exactly how much weight I have lost.

the scale says I weigh 155.


I don't understand............

Happy Beltane everyone! Go outside and celebrate life at some point will ya ^_^

Bamboozle is in 2 friggin days.....ahhhhhhhhhh. I bought my outifit yesterday.....at urban outfitters funny enough...but seriously I'm gonna be emofied so Xcore it'll be insane XP. Stina and I are making a project to make the most badass myspace profile pics everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr tee hee. not to mention....I'll be spending the nite at jon's on friday....SQUEE. And of course bands. Dur. But that goes without saying.

I wish more people were on break.......there's not much to do here cept take dance classes........blah.

I'm going to frolick and celebrate Beltane now

I had my first run in with the law today. Jon and I were caught "jumping the turn stile" which basically means free subway ride. My dad is furious, my mom is blah, and I'm not actually that concerned. Okay so it's a 60$ fine. Dad thinks my career is ruined *rolls eyes*. The cop who was "dealing" with us was actually really nice and we ended up talking to him for like an hour about various. He was quite a character. Yay character studies!!! But yea other than that minor incident I had a good time. I wish he could've spent the nite....

Also, I signed my equity contract EEEEEEEEEP. I spent like 20 min trying to figure out if I wanted my stage name to be Charlotte Raines or Charlotte Vaughn Raines. After much discussion. It's gonna be the Vaughn one. I have no idea what this will mean <.< >.>

I have to read a stupid drivers manual, so i can take a stupid test so i can learn how to fucking drive. Fuck studying its fucking summer break. RAWR.

I sorta wanna go back to MI.....did i say that in my last entry? i cant remember. I CURSE THEE PMS.

uh thats it. Oh and it was gorgeous out today. YAY TREES WITH BLOSSOMS

I TOTALLY FORGOT YESTERDAY WAS 4/20. AHHHHHHHHHHHH

prolly cause I was having too much fun at comicon tee hee. I met the guys from Cyanide and Happiness. Lookie on facebook. There was much squeeness.

I also played magic again for the first time in 3 years. It felt good to play it for 3 hours straight even if the deck was awesomely bad (having been made in 10 min to get ready for a tournament....just for the hell of it). I don't think I'll go back to playing all the time tho. You know, just every once in a while is nice.

They had 4th edition DnD demos too!!! I didn't get a chance to play but I hear the DM gets a shitload of nice ness. I boughts things too....only spent 65$ muahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! The end.

I wish i could goto conventions more often.....*sigh*

P.S. I love spring

I'm going back to NY today for the summer.

So of course the last night as a college freshman....what do I do?

Pull my first EVER all nighter :P