Urgent. Will die without reading. 16:36 If cheese curds ever had to go on trial, I’d make the best defense attorney. If you ignore the fact that I have no degree. # 18:35 I guess I’m never comfortable. # 19:00 Somehow, someway, Tina and I are arguing about the actor Robert Conrad being hot or not. # 19:02 Apparently, [...]

Darnell and Yolanda’s love had been on the fritz for the past 17 months, starting back when Darnell fathered a love child with the neighbor’s milkmaid and started stealing Yolanda’s pearls to meet his child support payments. When Yolanda found out, she cared less about the pearls and more about the fact that Darnell had [...]

Ice cream does that to me sometimes, too, Chooch. Maybe closer to all the time, if we’re playing truthsies.

Urgent. Will die without reading. 13:23 About to book a flight to LA to make Corey Haim my man. Henry doesn’t seem concerned enough to stop me. IM COMING, COREY!!! # 15:01 I love my jump rope so much, I named him. Say hello to everyone, Lewis. SAY HELLO. # 17:17 Omg it must be arthritis. So much [...]

"My back feels a lot better today," I said in lieu of ‘hello’ when Henry came home from work. "Probably because I put ice on it today, and stretched a lot." "Yeah, probably. It couldn’t be because I RUBBED FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF last night," Henry said, pushing past me. And with that, I went back [...]

Urgent. Will die without reading. 17:54 At my brothers grad party and wished aloud to still be 18. Henry said "You pretty much are." # 09:40 I took an immediate liking to one of Coreys friends yesterday. Of course it would be the guy who’s in and out of rehab. # 14:33 My nerve [...]

Clairton’s welcome sign boasts that it’s the City of Prayer. "It can’t be that bad," Christina reasoned. "It’s the City of Prayer, after all." Having grown up one town over from Clairton, I laughed knowingly and corrected her. "Yeah, because it needs prayers." Pretty much Clairton’s motto. The kind of place Henry used to take broads before [...]

Urgent. Will die without reading. 17:26 Would rather be home, playing with my new lens. # 18:38 when henry makes baked tofu for dinner, i get this uncontrollable urge to marry him. then he leaves his socks on the floor & i’m over it. # 08:35 My bagel bitch is here. # 09:30 My own brother, a goddamn shit-sucking [...]

Bueno Mexicana in the house.

Urgent. Will die without reading. 17:53 I can’t wait until I’m 50 so I can call every one babe without them thinking I want to suck them off under the pier. # 20:03 I wonder if the dead people know that I do sit-ups on their roofs. # 22:52 Tina wants to get me a cock cake for [...]