RecCenter.com

Will you watch? Sunday night is football night in America, says Al. But also it marks the Silver Anniversary of MTV's Video Music Awards, and despite last year's masterful display of waning cultural relevance, there may be reasons still to tune in that don't relate strictly to masochism and/or self-hatred. Like, there's Kanye's show-closing performance of the new single "Love Lockdown." (You are entitled to think he's forgiven MTV for hating black people, although I suggest you think he understands the promotional opportunity this affords his new single, which just happens to be going on sale the next day.)

There will also be a Britney Spears opening segment! I was wrong yesterday, though: She will not be performing, just doing something "fun and unexpected." This diminishes the show's imminent train wreckability. I'm not sure if that makes it more or less watchable. Other stuff that'll make it more (or, less) watchable includes Kid Rock and Lil Wayne together at last, Katy Perry covering "Like A Virgin," and performances from Rihanna, T.I. (Feat. Rihanna), T-Pain, Lupe, Paramore, the Ting Tings, the Jonas Bros. You can be sure Russell Brand will be sexually inappropriate and pretty British as host, if that's your spot of tea. And if the awards themselves are more your thing, sorry: the bands you like already won what they're going to win. But in case you will/are forced to watch anyway, here's a scorecard so you can play along at home, followed by a drinking game suggestion to make the time go by, and a very special message from Lou Reed: